Peaceful Thursday...

Happy Evening Community

Today I breathe a sigh of Peace.

I had a flexscope today. And although the prep was the uckiest thing. I feel pretty darn good today.

I thought after this procedure I would be in pain and bloated but mostly I’m a little tired.

But today is the first day I haven’t had bad cramps and races to the bathroom. It feels like I’ve turned a corner with the c-di and it is finally backing down and leaving my body .

Doc wanted to do the scope to double check the I am not having GVHD of the gut. My feeling is I’m not but its best to be safe and check it out.

I even ate some solid food. We'll see what my does with it. But I’m feeling like I want to do things and move around the house.

The past 3 weeks or so really challenged me in so many ways, to be in pain and see my weight drop so quickly, and just have this sense of helplessness. I guess surrender is what I was experiencing but, I cried all the time and was feeling sorry for myself, was frustrated. Parts of me felt like a failure and wanting to give up and just UGH....just like man oh man enough is enough already. UNCLE!!!

Then I felt wimpy, and like I should be stronger and more courageous and positive all that stuff, ya know. That’s so silly, I’m not a super Hero, I’m just a Human Woman.

So again I was like ah so many teachings, even being in the moment of the pain and discomfort but also allowing my emotions to come up.

Because lets face it, it sucks to be in pain for so long and be flat on your back.

But beautiful things came out of this. My mom came out; Noah has been so amazing with me. We have been really tender and sweet to each other. I felt so safe with him. And things are so peaceful in our home. We have such deep appreciation for one another.

I’m still healing up and now I’m going to start to walk again and slowly gain my strength back. I get to rebuild my body and again I have an opportunity to make the best choices for my Complete and Unlimited Health and Healing.

This has been a really mellow Holiday season but very sweet and loving. Its been nice to be in our home together.

New Years will be special and peaceful.

Noah and I are going to light a fire and do a ritual to bring in the type of home we want to find and just sit with our gratitude for all the abundance we have and all the love the surrounds us.

I feel grateful to have such a large community of loving people far and near who always keep us in your prayers, meditations, yoga practices, good vibes, and beams of white light and in your hearts.

May 2008 bring each and every one of you exactly what you have been dreaming of. May love fill your hearts every day.

And may each and everyone of us learn more and more how to take care of each other and that it really is all about the Love.

Purrs peace
and Big Big Love

Namaste
Victoria