As The Time approaches...

Hello Dear Community

I have been thinking a lot about my upcoming hospital visit. It seems time gets faster as we get closer to something we have our sights on.

I have realized that a lot of fear is coming up. And that I am realizing that the strength I am feeling now will soon be different in a week or 2. That is the nature of Chemotherapy and the nature of the Transplant itself. There will be times soon that I will feel sick and weak. That scares me.

I feel challenged in my patience with myself and in my marriage and even have feelings of resentment come up. "Why me"? Or "Oh, they have so much energy, how come I can’t feel that way"? It is a strange and painful place to be in....

I have made it my intention and part of my prayers to let that go, to work with letting it go, and to keep putting my faith in god. And to open my heart even wider to Love.

I found this website and wanted to pass it on. It has a lot of clear info about the transplant and basically what to expect. Just so you all know: http://cpmcnet.columbia.edu/dept/medicine/bonemarrow/bmtinfo.html

I am currently enjoying all I can, side by side the fear and the resentment that comes up.

I will go into the hospital with all the Grace I can. I will set my room up so that I feel surrounded by all the lovely things that carry the Love of those that have given them to me. I'll hang all the cards I receive to remind me that I am thought of, and I will do the best I can to send messages when I have the strength.

Thank you for your prayers for me, and for Noah, who has been so amazing. Thank you for praying for my Mom and Dad (Carole and Harvey) who are just so unbelievable and wonderful and teach what Love is all about.

Thank you for all of that.

I will try to have pictures posted at this blog from time to time.

Keep your emails coming, they do help so much.

Big Big Love
Endless Prayers
Cozy purrrrrs