My friend Brenda...

Hello Dear Community

This is a pictorial of my Friend Brenda.

She remains on 11 Long in The Temple on The Hill. She shines, even when the Doctors are unsure what they can do for her.

You can see how strong her Spirit is just by looking into her eyes.

I hope she inspires you as she inspires me.

http://www.emmahopkins.com/movies/brenda/

Namaste
Victoria

Spring Is Here...

Hello Dear Dear Community

Happy Spring!!!

Noah and I have returned from 2 and a half days in Pacific Grove, CA, just South of Monterey Bay. We had a very nice time together and away from the routine of San Francisco.

I have been thinking today that sometimes it is hard to know if I have done too much until after I have done them. I had a full 5 days of visiting friends and then away with Noah and tonight I am a little drained.

I so appreciate the connection Noah and I got to have and the time we got to spend away from home. What a beautiful State we live in and what a beautiful area of Northern Ca.

But still today I feel tired and ready to go to bed. It’s about 8:15.

I do what share with you what is going on with my dear Friend Brenda Donato. I met her when I was in the hospital waiting to get my transplant. She is about 50 days ahead of me in her transplant. She is a vibrant amazing woman with a huge huge Spirit and will to live. I even read about her last May when I was first in the hospital. A friend sent me an article about her. She had a Bone Marrow transplant around May 2005, was given her own cells and then May 2006 came out of Remission and had to start the process again for an unrelated donor transplant.

The minute we met each other in Oct 2006 we were friends. I loved her spirit and her sense of Life and we connected right away.

She has been struggling the past 6 weeks or so with severe GVHD of the Lungs, only about 5% of transplant people get this. The Docs have tried everything for her and nothing is helping to improve her condition.
This weekend they started talking about End of Life and 2 months to Live and she had to have a conversation with her 2 young boys about Death. But still when I read her blogs and she is like a beam of Light and a Spirit so big, I am inspired every day to continue my own healing.

It is scary and it is real.

I count my blessings every day that I have been blessed with this health I have right now. I visualize the Radiant Spirit I feel deep inside. I call it up. I think this breath is for my deeper healing, I feel so healed already, this breath is for Brenda because she cant breath this deeply. Oh my gosh she only has 20% lung capacity.

What a gift it is to breathe in and out.

I sometimes think, wow. How is it that some people get lucky and feel so good while others are suffering so much? I feel so good, I am so lucky, I am so blessed.

What a dance with the mind it can be. But this is how it goes sometimes and it is so real.
How my heart bargains at times. I want to live and I am of Service to this life I am given. I am healed!!!

How deep my commitment gets to share what I am learning.

What a gift our life is. Every moment. Every single moment we get to have.
How important it is to treat each other as the precious Gems we all are.

I think of all the people I meet at the clinic. We all hold our breaths waiting for our labs to come back, good counts, that count looks odd, he is getting platelets, she is getting a shot, we all breathe out when the nurse can finally see us or the doctor has some news hopefully some good news.
I watch this all and I am apart of it all too.

But here I am, my counts are good, my hair is growing, I am gaining weight, my new cells ( the ones that were gifted to me by Christina) seem to like my body, and my body likes them, and the leukemia went away. I am healed.

What a gift all of this is, what a journey, what a path, what a dream and what a nightmare all at the same time

please say a Big prayer for my friend Brenda Donato, send some white light, or include her in your Meditation. Have a good thought for her. Take a deep breath for this beautiful 36 mother of 2 young boys, who is so fiery and funny and whose spirit is so big and so courageous.

Love your life.

Hug the one you love.

Put down the argument and pause long enough to breathe and know that this life is a gift; even the argument is a gift in a way.

It is all about the Love. The love is what is carried with us always.

As the flowers bloom and the ice melts and the clouds clear it is all about the Love and how precious our Life that we have been given is

Namaste
Victoria

Sunshine!!! Springtime!!! An Extra Hour of Lightness...

Hello Everyone

OK I know not all of us reading this are in the Bay Area. But WOW, we have had some amazing weather. I didn’t even need a million layers like I usually do.

It was just wonderful; even better then some of the foggy summer weather we get.

I took a nice long walk with my friend Shannon, on Saturday and had yummie food and great time connecting with Mother nature and each other.

Then on Sunday Noah and I went on a beautiful hike in Tilden Park, in the Berkeley Hill across the Bay.

What a blessing it is to have so much nature so close by. What a blessing to have the strength to walk in nature and appreciate my breath and my body and my husband and my friend.

Oddly enough, this was the same park we were on our way to with my parents when Katrina bite me, and we ended up back in The Temple instead....next time Mom and Dad you guys would have really loved this park

All in all this last week and today has been a string of one good day after another. Deep deep healing nights of sleep. and following the doctors orders of walking and taking less medication.

I hope that those of you who are in Bay area are feeling that touch of spring and getting out from under the covers and enjoying the warmth. Those of you who are still in Winters grip just know spring is on its way, and its looking sweet!!!

Sending you all big Big love and smiles. Take a big deep healing breath for my Friend Brenda Donato, who is still struggling with GVHD in her lungs.

Thank you for all your prayers and may all your wishes that you got to wish and hold in your hearts this Winter come they bloom this spring.

As promised a pic of Noah and I are our hike on Sunday…



And a pic of Shannon and I on our hike in Golden Gate Park on Saturday…



Namaste
Victoria

Spring's Promise...

Dearest Community

I hope you are feeling the coming of Spring. New Beginnings. New Growth. The seeds of hope we planted are beginning to grow and show themselves.

San Francisco is in all its glory today and so am I.

The sun is shinning and the birds are active and in the "mood" Spring is begging to come fourth.

My heart is glowing and radiating outward like the Sun itself. I’m told it takes a year to be 100% of myself....who will I be after a year, when I feel like this now!!!! My goodness!!!!

Today is what I would call a good day. Emotionally I feel at peace and feel happy and so so so grateful. Physically I feel strong and vibrant.

I had my line, the Catheter, pulled on Tuesday. The only thing that remains is a bandage. I changed it today and there was just this tiny hole. so hard to believe that a bunch of tubing was in there.

Not having this thing attached to my body is another milestone.

I can "take" getting stuck with a needle now, they still have to use the little ones though. Because after all a needle is a needle. :)

Starting next week I will only go to clinic once a week. I’m at this stage where they are playing with my meds in hope to create a little tiny reaction, again to encourage those cells. Keep them awake and working.
The great unknown is always right there in front of us, isn’t it. We think we know but gosh I guess we really don’t.

My prayers are for an appropriate amount of GVHD and that it is gentle and easy to take care of....I feel healed already, what is beyond healing...deeper healing.

I trust Doc Martin and feel like I am truly blessed having him as my Doctor, Creator knew exactly what the deal was when I was matched with him. He is a gift and I really feel like he understands and hears me.

That clinic is so so so busy and everyone is working double time so I feel very blessed that I get to be heard and that I feel a real pause when I am cared for and spoken with.

I know I promised pictures. Please forgive me. On the 18th Noah and I are going South about 2 hours to spend a couple nights away for his Bday ( Which is March 19). We'll take tons of pictures then and post them on the blog and give a link to the pictures in the email.

We are so excited to get away and get by the ocean and be together away from our day to day. I’m a little nervous, but I know this is another step in my healing, just like getting the line pulled. Stepping out into the world and being with my new cells and strength.

Big Big Love!!!!!
Big Big Prayers!!!

Enjoy the coming of Spring and the leaving of Winter.

Thank you for all of your continued prayers for my continued healing and for my dear family.

May you feel prayers float back to you 100x

Namaste
Victoria