The Glory of GVHD...

Hey there Community

Wow it is a BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING spring day here in San Francisco. Thank goodness the sun is shinning and everything is so new and fresh.

The weight of stress and anxiety that I have been feeling for the past several weeks seems to be lifting and although I am exhausted from the onslaught of GVHD, I feel much more joy and peace.
See what a little praying and breathing can do.

I am in the "Gentle" Grips of GVHD. I had no idea I was going to feel so damn exhausted. Today I got to see a different nurse, Cheryl and even though she was the only one in Clinic today she was kind and patient and took a lot of time to explain a lot about GVHD to me.

The tiredness comes from the battle seen and unseen that is going on in my body right now. The New immune system, Christines, took a look around and realized it was in a very different place. So a battle has ensued.

Big time rash all over my face pasty mouth with little blisters, everything tastes yuckie.
My eyes are dry and goopie and things are blurry to read sometimes.
My shoulders ache
My liver counts are highish, but not alarming.

Cheryl explain that it is like someone who has Rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, my new immune system is having a little war inside my body. So there is a minor level of strange aches, constant sleepiness, and somewhat compromised for viral and fungal infections, since my immune system is busy doing other things.

But we are happy about all of this, it is minor and it is wanted, because in the process of this little war going on, if there are any cells we don’t want, those will be wiped out. It’s kinda like Chemo in a weird way, except I get to keep my hair.

I told this may go on for about 2 months till my body is used to the level of Tac (the immuno meds). Imagine that the Tac is like a horse trainer and the new Immune system is like a crazy wild colt that needs to be tamed. I loved that metaphor, thanks to Cheryl.

After all of this is said and done and my skin starts to clear up, I get to go to a dermatologists and get a facial that will remove any scaring from the rash.....I say cool SPA UCSF!!!
I don’t know that just made me smile.

So as usual after clinic I feel good about what is going on. I have full faith in what is going on. I know I am being taken care of in the best way for the best outcome.
I know why I am so tired, now I can be OK with it.

I had my 6 month biopsy on Tuesday, it went well. I won’t get those results for a little while.

I am where I need to be for my deeper healing, I feel at peace, I’m letting go of my anxiety more and more each day. I am here, and I am alive.

I hope all is well with each of you. I hope you are feeling loved and giving love. Thank you for all you love and support and prayers and well wishes.

Here’s to a Beautiful Spring day

Namaste
Victoria