1am and wanting to talk...

Hey all

I’m feeling better. Still night time fevers, but less coughing and sneezing. Ill be confined to my room till I show no symptoms or another test shows up negative.



I am going to open visiting back up but you MUST be healthy, no “feelings’ of maybe getting a cold or not having been around someone who was sick.

You MUST also wear a mask the whole time too.

Its not just about protecting me but the fragile condition of everyone on this floor.

I’m told that often we are contagious 3 days before we show symptoms.

So use caution…

My Parents have been amazing and patient and entertaining. We have been playing UNO and my Dad has been taking direction from me on where to hang things. We have been making due, but Id like to give them a break and send them off for a walk in the park.

Noah has been down south on assignment. Prior to his leaving he was very attentive, even stroking my back when I was feeling Ill. He has been calling to check in.

As I move deeper and deeper into this process and as I begin to more deeply realize what I and * we* including Noah and my family have signed up for. Sure we could say, oh that’s the ego who is missing your body and wants hair and wants some freedom....and everything else that is no longer completely under my control.
It is the Ego for sure, and yes my spirit is Huge and I am VERY here in it all. I am VERY much apart of it and I am very grounded.

Let’s face it this is Hard stuff.

I wonder why they don’t talk about it more in the Media, like why don’t they show more people and their struggles. All the movies and TV reality shows everyone is healthy and happy. More people need to know. I don’t wish any kind of Cancer on anyone, but there must be others. This IS my ego, this is during the times I feel slighted and wonder, wow, OK, Creator, what’s your plan for me. And I figure I just don’t know, but when I know I will know. If I ever will know.

I’ve been crying more, shedding the tears and pain and fear that is held in my heart so deeply. This is a good thing. I’ve been having a lot of good laughs with Uno, but come on and visit and lets laugh some more. I know what’s going on in your lives.

I’ve been thinking about the heat and thinking wow this is happening fast and hoping all of you have seen The Inconvenient Truth...even if you don’t like Gore. He has something to say. This is really his life’s work, political or not (I happen to think it is not). It is important. It is important to our Planet. I’ve been thinking what going on with Lebanon and Israel. All the fighting…all the war.

These are the things that are right there for me when I am in my body and grounded.

I also think of how utterly amazing this world is, how amazing people are, how much I love being in this World. I think about how much I love Big Cats and how much I want to get up close to them one day before the completely go away. I think about being out in nature and how lucky we are in Bay Area, do we go out in nature enough. I know I don’t.

Life is so delicate. Life is so beautiful. Life is meant for us to enjoy.

Although this is my life right now. I have been blessed with a glimpse of people who devote themselves to caring for others. I have been blessed with a second chance to appreciate my body and to appreciate life. I get this rare opportunity to spend so much time with my parents as adult
So many gifts among all the pain and suffering and tears and fear.

All I do is smile and be grateful for my strong body and my strong faith. I can bend my knee to all who care when I don’t even know people are still caring.

Sending you now, at 1:30am, all my love and prayers. May your life be more blessed and may your struggles be less. And be a little sweeter to one another. Because it is all about the LOVE.

Namaste
Victoria